Safe Tonight

When your dreams come true, you need to dream new, bigger ones. Cause, we need a goal right? A point? And dreams give us a goal. A goal gives commitment, oppertunities etc. It prevents us from becoming 'stuck'. But how do we shape new dreams? It ain't that easy. And what if the other dreams came with an unexpected higher 'price' to pay?

Maybe sometimes we need to get lost to be able to find ourselves again. To find that new dream, those new goals. 

It hasnt been the easiest time. An amazing contrast yet again between highs and lows. Feeling lost and dreaming bigger dreams. Loosing and gaining confidence. 

And I guess, while I was yet again a little lost, I found new, bigger goals. And I reached some big goals aswell (part of the bigger picture/dreams;)). 

But then, that moment of leaving comes again. Eventho I am excited for the 2nd chapter of working in OZ at Brookleighstud. It just never gets easier. The 5th time I have to leave. And I know whats coming, the cycle of emotions. It starts with a sudden realisation, high stress. And after, numbness. I think the brain just never fully can understand that in a matter of days i'll be gone again. 

I am finally accepting the torn feeling between homes. But accepting that I have to leave: nope. Doesnt matter which home I am leaving. It's the fact that I have to say goodbye to a chapter again. And it's exhausting. Yes, having multiple homes is great. But... The brain cannot convince that positive twist towards the emotions. Its here, the numbstress is back. And there is nothing I can do. 

But o boy.. How proud I am at my Coruba. So a bit more than a year ago I got to call him my pony right? I had never done, besides the training 40s and 80s at the beach, an official endurance ride. Right? Guess what.. We have done our first official 40km! A beautifull ride at Fairlie.. A huge thing for us and the entire CD team! 

We took 3 horses with us for this ride. A hard one, but the horses did an amazing job. Happy and excited; like they have done it soo many times. 

The 1st 15km where quite hard: long climbs and steep, muddy, decents. But pretty valleys along the way, crossing rivers and riding surrounded with mountains.. 

The other 25km where more flat but very good to get our ponies moving a bit. Obviously a few little gallops in between, but mostly nice consistent moving forward. And boy was I proud! My boy got even a bit frustrated at the end when other competitors where passing us.. He's deffinatly understanding racing and endurance! 

We finished at 4 hours and 52 minutes, with happy and healthy horses. A quick vetcheck: and we all completed succesfull! 

The day after, while we drove home, we passed lake Pukaki. A stunning day with a clear view on Mt. Cook in the distance. It just simply screamed 'photos'!! So we unloaded our horses and in between all the other tourist loving the view we had a small photoshoot. Moment of fame when around 10 other tourists decided to take a couple photos of us too.  To bad we didnt had our team outfits ready yet.. Would have looked even better! 

An amazing weekend with my amazing horse and beautifull team! And... This weekend: we'll do it again! 

I am still indecicive tho about which moment made me more proud.. I think it's equal. Cause Coruba and I don't really like cars. He's bloody perfect, dont get me wrong, but the car thing is our big challenge. Thanks to my amazing teammates here, their help and support, and the confidence I gained while working and learning from all my teammates in OZ, we made some big steps this season. So.. Last week Coruba and I finally (a small thing for many, a huge thing for me), rode alone on the road. Just for a short ride, but we finally did it! I guess it's one of these things I wanted to do, but lacking the confidence to do it. Afraid that I could never do that with him. And we did... 

After that my lovely team here obviously made me drink the Coruba rum to celebrate (thanks guys;))!

So yeah, highs and lows. But big goals we've reached makes room for bigger ones. But also sadly; for a pause on our progress. 

Now it's time to get ready for that 2nd 40km sunday. If we do 2 80's next year; both me and Coruba will be open. 

Next week I'll be 'working' again in OZ. Back to the heat! It'll be a big change since we had one of the worst summers apperantly in Southland's history.. Some warmth will be welcome. Back to the amazing Brookleighteam and more adventures in OZzieworld.

Since I now know this little cycle of my "leaving" moments, i'll be prepared. And.. I can tell Coruba i'll see him within 9 months. I am ready to reach more goals; both in NZ and in OZ... 

Love Lieke